I am seeing the psychologist again tomorrow and I am worried that it will turn into an intellectual discussion about my feelings and challenges. That is the way it always seems to be. How do I show what I feel? I sometimes feel my two default emotions, and the only ones except joy that I can share or show, is irritation and anger. I wonder if, feeling so uncomfortable showing any emotion in front of others, all the suppressed emotion just come out as irritation when it gets too much?
I am beginning to realise I find it very difficult to name my emotions. Emotions to me are physical experiences, no words attached. And when I try to name the emotion, it either slips away out of grasp, or it turns into intellectual analysing. I've never really thought much about this before. I've been working in the garden now, thinking about different situations and how I felt - and it is so hard. It almost feels as if my brain wants to stop me thinking about it, and the only 'name' I can give to negative emotions is 'I want to get away'. I don't know if that makes sense.